April 17, 2013 was going to be an exciting and joyous day. Ella was turning two. So, with the house coated in pink balloons and cupcakes frosted I was ready to party. Little did I know this day would be filled with, yes, lots of fun but also much mourning. Two weeks before this day, Mike and I found out we were pregnant. WHAT??? We were surprised and I was filled with all kinds of thoughts of how I was going to handle 3 kids under the age of 3. I battled each day and gave it all to the Lord. It was a process, but I knew this baby had a purpose and I was excited to see that unfold.
April 17th unfolded something in my life I had dreaded with each pregnancy. I began to spot. My heart was racing and all I could think about was our baby. Life went on around me, but it was a blur. I was disconnected from all the laughter and love filling our home. "No Lord, not now." The Lord was ready to receive this little one that evening. I was 8 weeks along and had to say good-bye to a life that never entered into this world but entered its eternal world with Jesus. Our baby is in the arms of their Maker...safe and away from all harm.
Though I will never forget this day and our precious baby, each day I am filled with the joy of the Lord. I cannot imagine going through something like this (or for some of you something much harder) without the love of the Lord. Though we don't understand His ways, they are so much higher (Isaiah 55). He loves us so much and will never leave us; especially in times of pain.
As you go about your day please remember, the Lord is good and will always be there. Don't try to get through each day on your own...because without Him by your side your day will feel empty and alone. It is very simple, HE LOVES YOU!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv4hFE5B7xI
A song that has been very meaningful throughout everything!
My dear friend, I have been mourning with you since I received your text. Your words in this post are beautiful and brave. Thank you for sharing your journey with others. I love you and continue to pray for you and Mike and the kids.
ReplyDeleteLove you Krista! Thanks for sharing your life with us and thanks for sharing your walk with Christ along the way. I know God will bring beauty from ashes...trust Him with your heart and with your family...always. We mourn with you and Mike over your loss. Believing that my children in Heaven have welcomed yours in...to paradise with Jesus! :) Looking forward to embracing the children we never got to here on earth, along with you on THAT glorious day!! They are real, they are not gone, they are fully alive...they just got to skip by this living on planet earth stuff!
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